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Divorcing a spouse you can’t find

Doing a diligent search, asking for alternative service like publication, following notice rules, default divorce, limits, and free help.

Quick answer

You can usually divorce a spouse you can’t find. First do a real, documented search: last address and phone, family and friends, old employers, social media and public records. File your divorce and show your search, and ask the judge for another way to give notice, like publishing in a newspaper or posting. Follow notice rules exactly. If your spouse doesn’t respond, the court can usually grant a default divorce, though support and some property orders may be limited.

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Your checklist

  • Search for your spouse and keep notes
  • File and show your search
  • Ask for another way to serve
  • Follow notice rules exactly
  • Ask for a default divorce
  • Get help from self-help centers

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You can usually still divorce

Courts don’t let one missing person trap you in a marriage, but they require real effort to notify them.

Do a diligent search

Try and document:

  • Last known address and phone, and mail sent there.
  • Family, friends and former coworkers.
  • Old employers.
  • Social media and internet searches.
  • Public records, like court, property and voter records.

Write down every step, with dates and results. Many courts have a form for this.

Ask for alternative service

File your divorce papers and ask the judge to approve another way to give notice, such as:

  • Publishing a notice in a newspaper for a set number of weeks.
  • Posting at the courthouse.
  • Mailing to the last known address.
  • In some places, email or social media messages.

Default divorce

If your spouse doesn’t respond within the deadline after notice, you can usually ask the court to grant the divorce by default.

Limits

Without personal service, a court may be limited in ordering spousal or child support or dividing property outside the state. A lawyer can explain options.

Help

Court self-help centers and legal aid often help with forms. Ask about fee waivers, including for publication costs.

Official sources, and where to look

To find your local office, search for:

  • [your county] divorce service by publication form
  • [your county] family court self-help center

Pick sites that end in .gov. Official forms are almost always free.

Common questions

How long does it take to divorce a missing spouse?

Often longer than a regular uncontested divorce, because of the search and publication time. It varies by state. More ›

What if my spouse is in another country?

International service has extra rules. Ask the court self-help center or a lawyer. More ›

Can I get divorced if I can’t find my spouse?

Usually yes. You must make a diligent search, then ask the court to approve another way to give notice, like publication. More ›

What is service by publication?

Publishing a notice of the divorce in a newspaper approved by the court for a set time, when the spouse can’t be found. More ›

What counts as a diligent search?

Real, documented efforts: last address, phone, family, friends, employers, social media and public records. More ›

What is a default divorce?

A divorce granted when the other spouse doesn’t respond after being properly notified. More ›

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Not yet reviewed by an expert. Last checked 2026-10-29. This is general help, not legal, medical or professional advice. Rules are different in every state.