# Divorcing a spouse you can’t find > You can usually divorce a spouse you can’t find. First do a real, documented search: last address and phone, family and friends, old employers, social media and public records. File your divorce and show your search, and ask the judge for another way to give notice, like publishing in a newspaper or posting. Follow notice rules exactly. If your spouse doesn’t respond, the court can usually grant a default divorce, though support and some property orders may be limited. - URL: https://explained.page/divorcing-a-missing-spouse - Language: en - Last checked: 2026-10-29 - Watch the 1-minute animated guide: https://explained.page/watch?start=divorcing-a-missing-spouse ## Step by step 1. **Want a divorce but can’t find your spouse?** You can usually still get divorced. You’ll need to show the court you really tried to find them. 2. **Make a real, documented search.** Courts call it a diligent search: last address and phone, family and friends, old employers, social media and public records. Write down every step and date. 3. **Ask the court for another way to serve.** File your divorce papers and show your search. The judge may allow notice by newspaper, posting at the courthouse, mail, or sometimes email or social media. 4. **Follow the notice rules exactly.** If notice is published, it usually runs for a set number of weeks, and you file proof with the court. 5. **If they don’t respond, ask for a default divorce.** After the response time passes, the court can usually grant the divorce without them. 6. **Know the limits.** Without notice served in person, courts may be limited in ordering support or dividing some property. A lawyer can explain what’s possible. 7. **Get help with the forms.** Court self-help centers and legal aid often help with this kind of divorce. Ask about fee waivers. 8. **Look it up the right way.** Search with your town or state in the words. Pick the official site: it usually ends in .gov. Skip ads and sites that charge for free forms. ## Checklist - Search for your spouse and keep notes - File and show your search - Ask for another way to serve - Follow notice rules exactly - Ask for a default divorce - Get help from self-help centers ## You can usually still divorce Courts don’t let one missing person trap you in a marriage, but they require real effort to notify them. ## Do a diligent search Try and document: - Last known address and phone, and mail sent there. - Family, friends and former coworkers. - Old employers. - Social media and internet searches. - Public records, like court, property and voter records. Write down every step, with dates and results. Many courts have a form for this. ## Ask for alternative service File your divorce papers and ask the judge to approve another way to give notice, such as: - Publishing a notice in a newspaper for a set number of weeks. - Posting at the courthouse. - Mailing to the last known address. - In some places, email or social media messages. ## Default divorce If your spouse doesn’t respond within the deadline after notice, you can usually ask the court to grant the divorce by default. ## Limits Without personal service, a court may be limited in ordering spousal or child support or dividing property outside the state. A lawyer can explain options. ## Help Court self-help centers and legal aid often help with forms. Ask about fee waivers, including for publication costs. ## Common questions ### How long does it take to divorce a missing spouse? Often longer than a regular uncontested divorce, because of the search and publication time. It varies by state. Source page: https://explained.page/divorcing-a-missing-spouse/questions/how-long-does-it-take-to-divorce-a-missing-spouse ### What if my spouse is in another country? International service has extra rules. Ask the court self-help center or a lawyer. Source page: https://explained.page/divorcing-a-missing-spouse/questions/what-if-my-spouse-is-in-another-country ### Can I get divorced if I can’t find my spouse? Usually yes. You must make a diligent search, then ask the court to approve another way to give notice, like publication. Source page: https://explained.page/divorcing-a-missing-spouse/questions/can-i-get-divorced-if-i-cant-find-my-spouse ### What is service by publication? Publishing a notice of the divorce in a newspaper approved by the court for a set time, when the spouse can’t be found. Source page: https://explained.page/divorcing-a-missing-spouse/questions/what-is-service-by-publication ### What counts as a diligent search? Real, documented efforts: last address, phone, family, friends, employers, social media and public records. Source page: https://explained.page/divorcing-a-missing-spouse/questions/what-counts-as-a-diligent-search ### What is a default divorce? A divorce granted when the other spouse doesn’t respond after being properly notified. Source page: https://explained.page/divorcing-a-missing-spouse/questions/what-is-a-default-divorce ### Can the court divide property if my spouse can’t be found? It can often divide property in your state, but may be limited for support orders or property elsewhere without personal service. Source page: https://explained.page/divorcing-a-missing-spouse/questions/can-the-court-divide-property-if-my-spouse-cant-be-found ### Do I need a lawyer to divorce a missing spouse? Not always. Court self-help centers and legal aid often help with the forms. Source page: https://explained.page/divorcing-a-missing-spouse/questions/do-i-need-a-lawyer-to-divorce-a-missing-spouse ## Official sources - [National Center for State Courts: self-help](https://www.ncsc.org/) - [Legal Services Corporation: free legal aid](https://www.lsc.gov/) To find your local office, search for: - "[your county] divorce service by publication form" - "[your county] family court self-help center" --- General information, not legal or professional advice. Rules differ by state. From explained.page (www.explained.page). Life’s stuff, explained simply.