Getting a divorce, step by step
One spouse files papers with the court, the other is served, and you both list what you own and owe. You make a plan for the kids, try to agree (often with a mediator), and if you can’t, a judge decides. It ends when the judge signs the final order.
Your checklist
- File papers with the court
- Serve the other spouse
- List what you own and owe
- Make a plan for the kids
- Try to agree, maybe with a mediator
- Get the final order and keep a copy
Rather read it? Here’s the whole thing.
How it usually goes
- Filing: one spouse files papers with the court. There’s a fee; courts can lower or waive it if you can’t afford it.
- Serving: the other spouse gets an official copy.
- Listing everything: you both share what you own and what you owe. Be complete; hiding things can backfire.
- The kids: where they live, time with each parent, and child support.
- Agreeing: many couples settle with help from a mediator. It’s usually faster and cheaper.
- Court: if you can’t agree, a judge decides.
- Final order: the judge signs it and the divorce is official.
Do you need a lawyer?
If you agree on everything and don’t have much property, some people handle it themselves. With kids, a house, a business or retirement savings, a family lawyer can protect what matters.
Common questions
How long does a divorce take?
It depends on your state and whether you agree. Some states have a waiting period. Agreed divorces are usually much faster.
What is an uncontested divorce?
It means you both agree on everything, like property, debts and the kids. It’s usually quicker and cheaper.
Talk to a family lawyer near you
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Not yet reviewed by an expert. Last checked 2026-10-29. This is general help, not legal, medical or professional advice. Rules are different in every state.