# Getting a divorce, step by step > One spouse files papers with the court, the other is served, and you both list what you own and owe. You make a plan for the kids, try to agree (often with a mediator), and if you can’t, a judge decides. It ends when the judge signs the final order. - URL: https://explained.page/getting-a-divorce - Language: en - Last checked: 2026-10-29 - Watch the 1-minute animated guide: https://explained.page/watch?start=getting-a-divorce ## Step by step 1. **Thinking about divorce?** Here’s how it usually goes, one step at a time. 2. **Step 1: One of you files papers with the court.** There’s a filing fee. Courts can lower or waive it if you can’t afford it. 3. **Step 2: The other spouse gets a copy.** This is called being “served.” It makes sure they know what was filed. 4. **Step 3: You both list what you own and what you owe.** Be complete and honest. Hiding things can backfire in court. 5. **Step 4: A plan for the kids.** Where they live, time with each parent, and child support. 6. **Agree if you can.** A mediator helps you both find a deal. It’s usually faster and cheaper than a trial. 7. **Can’t agree? A judge decides.** Each side explains, and the judge makes the call. 8. **Step 5: The judge signs the final papers.** This is often called the final order or decree. 9. **Look it up the right way.** Search with your town or state in the words. Pick the official site: it usually ends in .gov. Skip ads and sites that charge for free forms. 10. **Kids, a house, a business or retirement savings?** A family lawyer can protect what matters. Many offer a free first call. ## Checklist - File papers with the court - Serve the other spouse - List what you own and owe - Make a plan for the kids - Try to agree, maybe with a mediator - Get the final order and keep a copy ## How it usually goes - **Filing:** one spouse files papers with the court. There’s a fee; courts can lower or waive it if you can’t afford it. - **Serving:** the other spouse gets an official copy. - **Listing everything:** you both share what you own and what you owe. Be complete; hiding things can backfire. - **The kids:** where they live, time with each parent, and child support. - **Agreeing:** many couples settle with help from a mediator. It’s usually faster and cheaper. - **Court:** if you can’t agree, a judge decides. - **Final order:** the judge signs it and the divorce is official. ## Do you need a lawyer? If you agree on everything and don’t have much property, some people handle it themselves. With kids, a house, a business or retirement savings, a family lawyer can protect what matters. ## Common questions ### How long does a divorce take? It depends on your state and whether you agree. Some states have a waiting period. Agreed divorces are usually much faster. Source page: https://explained.page/getting-a-divorce/questions/how-long-does-a-divorce-take ### What is an uncontested divorce? It means you both agree on everything, like property, debts and the kids. It’s usually quicker and cheaper. Source page: https://explained.page/getting-a-divorce/questions/what-is-an-uncontested-divorce ### Do we both need lawyers? No one is required to have a lawyer, but one lawyer can’t represent both of you. Many couples use a mediator to agree, then each has a lawyer review the final papers. Source page: https://explained.page/getting-a-divorce/questions/do-we-both-need-lawyers ### Who gets the house in a divorce? It depends on your state and your situation. Some states split marital property 50/50; most divide it “fairly,” which isn’t always equal. A house owned before marriage may be treated differently. Source page: https://explained.page/getting-a-divorce/questions/who-gets-the-house-in-a-divorce ### Can I get divorced if my spouse won’t sign? Usually yes. After your spouse is properly served, if they don’t respond, the court can often move forward without them. Your local court self-help center can explain the steps. Source page: https://explained.page/getting-a-divorce/questions/can-i-get-divorced-if-my-spouse-wont-sign ### How much does a divorce cost? Court filing fees are often a few hundred dollars. Doing it yourself or using mediation costs much less than a fight in court, where legal fees can reach many thousands. Source page: https://explained.page/getting-a-divorce/questions/how-much-does-a-divorce-cost ## Official sources - [National Center for State Courts](https://www.ncsc.org/) - [USA.gov](https://www.usa.gov/) To find your local office, search for: - "[your county] family court self-help center" - "[your state] divorce forms" --- General information, not legal or professional advice. Rules differ by state. From explained.page (www.explained.page). Life’s stuff, explained simply.