Home care or assisted living? Choosing care for a parent
Start with what help your parent needs: daily tasks like bathing and dressing, medicines, safety and loneliness, and ask their doctor for an assessment. Options range from aides at home and adult day programs to assisted living (help with daily living) and nursing homes (24-hour nursing care). Medicare covers some short-term skilled home health care, not ongoing daily help. Tour places, check inspection reports and Medicare’s Care Compare, compare costs in writing, and include your parent.
Your checklist
- List what help is needed
- Consider home care and day programs
- Know assisted living vs a nursing home
- Tour and check inspection reports
- Compare costs in writing
- Include your parent; ask the Area Agency on Aging
Rather read it? Here’s the whole thing.
Start with needs
What does your parent need help with? Bathing, dressing, eating and toileting; medicines and appointments; safety (falls, wandering, driving); meals; loneliness. Their doctor can do an assessment, and a geriatric care manager can help plan.
Options
- Help at home: family plus paid aides for chores, meals, personal care or companionship. Home health care (skilled nursing or therapy) is different and may be covered by Medicare for a limited time when ordered by a doctor for someone homebound.
- Adult day programs: daytime meals, activities and supervision; a break for caregivers.
- Assisted living: a private apartment or room with help with daily tasks, meals and medicines.
- Memory care: secure settings for people with dementia.
- Nursing homes: 24-hour nursing care for complex medical needs.
Paying
Medicare doesn’t pay for ongoing personal care or assisted living. Options include savings, long-term care insurance, VA benefits, and Medicaid (nursing homes, and in many states home- and community-based care).
Checking quality
Tour more than once at different times. Check state inspection reports and Medicare’s Care Compare for nursing homes and home health agencies. Ask about staff, turnover and all fees in writing.
Include your parent
Ask what matters most to them. Your Area Agency on Aging offers free information. Caregivers need support too; ask about respite care.
Official sources, and where to look
- Medicare.gov: Care Comparemedicare.gov
- Eldercare Locatoreldercare.acl.gov
- Medicaid.gov: home and community-based servicesmedicaid.gov
[your county] Area Agency on Aging[your state] assisted living inspection reports
Common questions
How much does assisted living cost?
It varies widely by location and care level, often several thousand dollars a month. Ask for a full fee list. More ›
Are senior placement services really free?
Many are paid by facilities when you choose one of their partners. They can help, but you may not see all options. More ›
What is the difference between assisted living and a nursing home?
Assisted living helps with daily tasks, meals and medicines in a home-like setting. Nursing homes provide 24-hour nursing care for people with complex medical needs. More ›
Does Medicare pay for home care?
Medicare covers limited home health care, like skilled nursing or therapy, for people who are homebound with a doctor’s order. It doesn’t pay for ongoing personal care or homemaker help. More ›
How do I know when a parent needs more care?
Signs include falls, missed medicines, weight loss, unpaid bills, getting lost, poor hygiene, or a caregiver who’s overwhelmed. Ask their doctor for an assessment. More ›
What is an adult day program?
A daytime program with meals, activities and supervision for older adults, giving family caregivers time to work or rest. More ›
Know someone who needs this?
Not yet reviewed by an expert. Last checked 2026-10-29. This is general help, not legal, medical or professional advice. Rules are different in every state.