# Served with divorce papers: what to do first > Don’t ignore the papers. Read the petition to see what your spouse is asking for and find your deadline, often 20 to 30 days. Many states put automatic orders in place, like not emptying accounts or moving the kids out of state; follow them. File a response on time even if you agree. Gather financial records and don’t hide money, keep the kids out of the conflict, and get advice from a family lawyer or court self-help center. - URL: https://explained.page/served-divorce-papers - Language: en - Last checked: 2026-10-29 - Watch the 1-minute animated guide: https://explained.page/watch?start=served-divorce-papers ## Step by step 1. **Served with divorce papers?** It’s a shock, even when you saw it coming. Don’t ignore them; there’s a deadline. Here are the first steps. 2. **Read what your spouse is asking for.** The petition lists requests about the kids, support, property and debts, and the papers show your deadline to respond, often 20 to 30 days. 3. **Check for automatic court orders.** Many states put temporary orders in place when a divorce is filed, like not moving the kids out of state or emptying accounts. Follow them. 4. **File your response on time.** Even if you agree with everything, respond. If you don’t, the court may decide without hearing from you. 5. **Gather financial records.** Copies of tax returns, pay stubs, bank and retirement statements, and debts. Don’t hide or move money. 6. **Keep the kids out of it.** Keep routines steady, don’t share court details with them, and speak kindly about the other parent. 7. **Get advice, and stay safe.** A family lawyer or court self-help center can explain your options, including mediation. If you feel unsafe, call the domestic violence hotline or 911. 8. **Look it up the right way.** Search with your town or state in the words. Pick the official site: it usually ends in .gov. Skip ads and sites that charge for free forms. ## Checklist - Read the petition and deadline - Follow any automatic orders - File your response on time - Gather financial records; don’t hide money - Keep the kids out of it - Get advice and stay safe ## Don’t ignore the papers You usually have a set time to respond, often 20 to 30 days depending on your state. If you don’t, the court may decide without you. ## Read the petition It lists what your spouse is asking for: custody and parenting time, child or spousal support, and how to divide property and debts. ## Automatic orders Many states put temporary orders in place when a divorce is filed, such as not moving the children out of state, not emptying bank accounts, not canceling insurance, and not selling major property. Check your papers and follow them. ## Respond File a response with the court and serve it on your spouse as required. If you agree with everything, you may be able to move forward as an uncontested divorce. ## Prepare Gather tax returns, pay stubs, bank and retirement statements, mortgage and debt records, and insurance policies. Don’t hide or move money. ## The kids Keep routines steady and keep them out of the conflict. ## Help and safety A family lawyer or court self-help center can explain options like mediation. If you feel unsafe, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline or call 911. ## Common questions ### Do I have to move out after being served? Not just because you were served. Who stays in the home is decided by agreement or court order. Get advice before moving. Source page: https://explained.page/served-divorce-papers/questions/do-i-have-to-move-out-after-being-served ### Can I use our joint money for a lawyer? Often reasonable use is allowed, but automatic orders vary. Keep records and ask a lawyer or the self-help center. Source page: https://explained.page/served-divorce-papers/questions/can-i-use-our-joint-money-for-a-lawyer ### How long do I have to respond to divorce papers? It depends on your state, often 20 to 30 days from when you were served. Your papers should state the deadline. Source page: https://explained.page/served-divorce-papers/questions/how-long-do-i-have-to-respond-to-divorce-papers ### What happens if I don’t respond to divorce papers? The court may grant the divorce by default, possibly giving your spouse what they asked for about property, support and custody. Source page: https://explained.page/served-divorce-papers/questions/what-happens-if-i-dont-respond-to-divorce-papers ### What are automatic restraining orders in a divorce? Temporary orders in some states that start when a divorce is filed, limiting things like moving kids out of state, emptying accounts or canceling insurance. Source page: https://explained.page/served-divorce-papers/questions/what-are-automatic-restraining-orders-in-a-divorce ### Can I contest a divorce? You can dispute the terms, like property or custody. In most states you can’t stop the divorce itself if your spouse wants it. Source page: https://explained.page/served-divorce-papers/questions/can-i-contest-a-divorce ### Do I need a lawyer to respond to divorce papers? Not always. Court self-help centers have forms. A lawyer helps with kids, property, a business, or if your spouse has a lawyer. Source page: https://explained.page/served-divorce-papers/questions/do-i-need-a-lawyer-to-respond-to-divorce-papers ### Should I move out after being served? Get advice first. Moving out can affect custody and property decisions in some situations. Source page: https://explained.page/served-divorce-papers/questions/should-i-move-out-after-being-served ## Official sources - [National Center for State Courts](https://www.ncsc.org/) - [National Domestic Violence Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/) - [Legal Services Corporation: free legal aid](https://www.lsc.gov/) To find your local office, search for: - "[your county] family court self-help divorce response" - "[your state] automatic restraining orders divorce" --- General information, not legal or professional advice. Rules differ by state. From explained.page (www.explained.page). Life’s stuff, explained simply.