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Talking to lenders before you fall behind

Why calling early helps, making a budget, which bills come first, hardship options to ask for, getting it in writing, free counseling and debt relief scams.

Quick answer

Call your lenders before you miss a payment; they usually have more options for people who reach out early. First list your income and essentials, and protect housing, utilities and a way to work before unsecured debts. Ask about payment plans, lower interest, paused payments, or for mortgages, forbearance or a loan modification. Get any deal in writing, including how it’s reported. Use free HUD housing counselors or nonprofit credit counselors, and avoid companies charging fees up front.

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Your checklist

  • Call before you miss a payment
  • Make a simple budget
  • Protect housing, utilities and transport
  • Ask about hardship options
  • Get the deal in writing
  • Use free counselors; avoid upfront fees

Rather read it? Here’s the whole thing.

Call early

Lenders generally have more options before you’re behind. Waiting can mean late fees, credit damage and fewer choices.

Know your numbers

List your income (including unemployment) and essential costs: housing, utilities, food, insurance and transportation to work. See what’s left for debts.

Priorities

Protect housing, utilities and a car you need for work. Unsecured debts like credit cards and medical bills usually come after.

What to ask for

  • Payment plans or lower payments for a while.
  • Lower interest rates or waived fees.
  • Skipped or paused payments (deferment or forbearance).
  • For mortgages: forbearance, repayment plans or a loan modification.
  • For federal student loans: income-driven plans or deferment.

Get it in writing

Ask what you’ll pay, how long it lasts, what happens after, and how it will be reported to credit bureaus.

Free help

  • HUD-approved housing counselors for mortgage trouble.
  • Nonprofit credit counseling agencies for credit card and other debt.

Avoid scams

Be wary of debt relief companies that charge fees before settling any debt, promise to erase debt, or tell you to stop contacting lenders.

Official sources, and where to look

To find your local office, search for:

  • HUD approved housing counselor near me
  • nonprofit credit counseling agency

Pick sites that end in .gov. Official forms are almost always free.

Common questions

Will a hardship plan hurt my credit?

It depends on the lender and plan. Ask how it will be reported. A plan usually hurts less than missed payments. More ›

Should I use retirement money to pay debts?

Usually as a last resort, because of taxes, penalties and lost savings. Talk to a counselor first. More ›

Should I call my lender before I miss a payment?

Yes. Lenders usually have more options before you’re behind, and you avoid late fees and credit damage. More ›

What is a hardship program?

A temporary plan from a lender, like lower payments, lower interest or paused payments, for people facing job loss, illness or other money trouble. More ›

What is mortgage forbearance?

A temporary pause or reduction in mortgage payments. You’ll usually need to repay the missed amount later through a plan or modification. More ›

Which bills should I pay first when money is short?

Usually housing, utilities, food and transportation to work, then secured debts, then unsecured debts like credit cards. More ›

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Not yet reviewed by an expert. Last checked 2026-10-29. This is general help, not legal, medical or professional advice. Rules are different in every state.